Chapter 2: Ken VS Dans


At Sailor Pluto's catle:

[Setsuna is starting to worry at the recent change of events.]

Setsuna: Bison has cloned an army of 10 Dan clones to help him take over the World.... But something went wrong with the experiment. The Dan clones think that EVERY man is Vega and now they have escaped from the lab.

[Setsuna lifted her time staff to use her magic powers to make visions appear in front. A scene of Akuma appeared. Akuma was getting attacked by the 10 Dan clones. Akuma performed his raging demon super move, his strongest attack against the Dans but was futile. The Dans started piling on top of Akuma and Akuma screams to his bloody death as the Dans repeatedly rape Akuma until there was nothing left of him for them to drill.]

Setsuna: Hmmmm.... Not good. Not good at all. If these Dans kill all the men in the world then there will be no yaoi porn to watch. I better find Cammy and help stop this.

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Not far from outside of Ryu's dojo:

[Ken decided to take a short cut to the airport through a dense forest. He decided to bring nothing with him because they were too heavy to carry and he didn't want to strain his back. Ken stopped walking when he felt that someone was following him.]

Ken: Who is there? Show yourself!

[A Dan clone walks out from the shadows.]

Dan clone2: Vega?

Ken: No, stupid, I am not Vega!

Dan clone2: Vega? Vega?

Ken: Are you deaf? Stop wasting my time and get lost!

[The Dan clone walks closer to Ken.]

Ken: You want to challenge me to a fight? Don't make me laugh! A low level joke martial artist like you won't even stand a chance against my Shotokan expertise!

Dan clone2: Vega! Vega! Vega!

[The Dan clone grabs Ken in a bear hug squeezing him hard.]

Dan clone2: Vega!!!!!!!!!

Ken: LET ME GO!!!!!!!

[As Ken felt his circulation getting cut off he tried to struggle out of Dan's hold. Making a fist with his right hand, Ken executed a flaming Shoryuken dragon punch to break free, knocking the Dan clone back.]

Dan clone3: Vega?

[Another Dan clone grabs the back of Ken's red karate coat to prevent him from running away. The Dans smelled Ken's scent, the scent of blond man, and they start to go crazy.]

Dan clone4: Vega?

Dan clone5: Vega?

Dan clone6: Vega?

Ken: Oh fuck no! You don't want me I'm all skin and bones. I don't even look the slightest thing like Vega!

[Ken saw more Dan clones appear and he slipped out of his coat. He ran as fast as he could and as he looked back he saw five Dans thrusting his coat to shreds.]

Ken: Those things are monsters! I hate pink fags! I hate them so very much!

[Ken found a large tree and climbed up to the top branch where he hid there, hoping that he would be safe. However the Dan clones found him. Soon all ten Dan clones gathered around the tree that Ken was hiding up in but luckily they didn't know how to climb.]

Dan clone 7: Vega!

Dan clone1: Vega Vega Vega!

Dan clone 8: Veeeeeeggggggaaaaa!

Dan clone 9: Vega? Vega?

Dan clone 10: Vega!

Ken: ARE YOU GODDAMN FAGGOTS COLOR BLIND? I AM NOT VEGA! I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY OF HIS FEMININE QUALITIES!!!!!!!!!

[The Dan clones start humping the trunk of the tree in an attempt to chop the tree down Dan style.]

Ken: LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU DUMB FUCKS!!!!!!!!! I AM NOT VEGA!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! HELP!!!!!!!!!!! SAVE ME, CAMMY!!!!

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Shadowlaw lab, where the Dan clones were created:

[Cammy, Setsuna and Ken have made their way to the main computer at the lab. The one that they must destroy in order to destroy the Dan clones for good but Bison is there and refuses to allow entrance to let them pass. Finding no other option, Ken challenges Bison to a fatal fight to the death.]

Bison: How amusing. You want to challenge me, the Lord of Shadowlaw? You are no where as strong as Ryu. All those who oppose me will be destroyed!

Ken: I have never lost a fight in my life and I never will. I will show you true power so take a good look at the man who will bring you death!

[Ken goes in to his fighting stance as Bison laughs. Ken taunted Bison by showing him the middle finger. Immediately Ken spun around and gave Bison a Johnny Cage style sidekick to his crotch hoping for a quick finish.]

Ken: Damn it, he's wearing a cup.

Setsuna: No, Dan just chewed his testicles off....

Bison: Psycho Crusher!

[Bison's powerful charging attack filled with his psycho power immediately sends Ken crashing to the floor face first.]

Bison: Psycho Crusher!

[As soon as Ken tried to stand up he got knocked back down by Bison's attack.]

Bison: Psycho Crusher!

Cammy: This is too embarrassing to watch.

[The same thing happened again.]

Bison: Psycho Crusher!

Cammy: Ken, do something before he kills you. Use those famous Shotokan Karate moves that you are always bragging about.

[And again.]

Ken: I refuse to be humiliated and lose a fight to the likes of you.

[Ken reached for his revolver and used the gun to fire some bullets at Bison's head. Blood could be seen gushing out of where the bullets went through his head. Bison died instantly and falls to the ground as more blood starts leaking out of his mouth. Soon the whole floor was completely covered with Bison's dead blood and Ken laughed at his victory.]

Ken: That was too easy. I warned you that I'm an unbeatable champion fighter.

Setsuna: No, a real martial artist would never use a gun in battle. That's why Ryu will always be the better and more honorable fighter.

Ken: Fuck the honor system! Bison was a very evil man that deserved to die.

[Setsuna went over to the main computer but had troubles getting logged on. She was afraid of setting off the alarm and restrained herself from pressing too many buttons.]

Cammy: Here let me help. I'm a genius with technology. Hacking in to computer systems is something that I know very well.

[Cammy began typing on the computer and succeeded in to getting pass the computer's built in security. From a security monitor, Ken saw the Dan clones returning to the lab. They must have sensed danger and have come to protect their home. Ken immediately activated the self-destruct option.]

Ken: This place is going to go down in flames in 30 seconds. We have to get out of here now!

[Ken found an open window and kicked it opened. He picked up Cammy and jumped out of the window landing on the ground safely outside just seconds before the entire lab building exploded up in flames. Setsuna just used her magic to teleport herself outside. As soon as the lab was destroyed and crumbled down to charred ashes the Dan clones began dissolving in to pink puddles and died as well.]

Cammy: Good job, Ken, you've saved the world and things can go back to normal. Now this is something that you can brag to Ryu about.

Ken: Wait! Why is that Dan still alive?

Setsuna: Oh, that's just the real Dan but don't worry because Vega is there. Get ready to watch some yaoi romance! Awwwww...... Dan is going to strut around Vega in his woman's undergarments.

[Dan starts doing some fancy saikyo taunting moves all around Vega.]

Ken: Why is that pink flaming faggot spinning around Vega like some goddamn ballerina?

Setsuna: Dan is just doing his mating dance for Vega. You can easily see how much in love Dan is with Vega. Now here comes the best part. Watch closely.

[Dan leaps on top of Vega's ass and drills Vega in synchrony to Vega's frightening yodeling screams.]

Vega: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! FUUUUUCCKKKKKK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Dan: Vega, my love, you make Dan so happy when he plays stretchy wretchy with you.

Vega: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I WANT TO DIE DAMN IT! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Dan: Yahooooooo! Dan is so happy.

Setsuna: Awwwww... Dan is drilling Vega stupid. I can feel tears in my eyes I'm so happy for Dan and his Vega.

Ken: That is so fucking disgusting. I really didn't want to see that.

[Ken nudges Cammy with his elbow to give her a hint that he wants to leave and go home. Cammy escorts Ken back home to Ryu's dojo safely as Setsuna pulls over a chair to sit down and watch the yaoi show. Vega's terrified screams can be heard throughout the city.]

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Later on at night at Ryu's dojo:

[Setsuna is having tea time with Cammy in the kitchen of Ryu's dojo. Ken is still scared over the threat of Dan so Cammy decides to stay longer to keep him company. Cammy invited Setsuna over because she wanted someone to talk to, someone who is even more perverted than she is. Vega's screams continued as Dan showed no rest or tiring.]

Ken: Doesn't that guy ever shut up? I can't believe that I can hear Dan's whore from my isolated dojo that is at least 1000 miles where they are.

Setsuna: Dan was over dosing himself on Viagra medication to increase his sex drive on Vega... That's what makes Dan and Vega the perfect yaoi couple because their love is so strong... In all their porno yaoi movies, no one knows how to sweat up the sheets and stretch ass quite like Dan and Vega.

[Vega's screaming stops and peace returns to the city once again.]

Ken: Finally! Vega must be dead!

Setsuna: Or Dan has worn himself out. Dan's love for Vega is so strong that it will never die, he just needs time to rest.

Cammy: Something really confuses me. Why does everyone call Dan and Vega the perfect fag couple when it can quite clearly be seen that Vega hates Dan's guts?

Setsuna: Love works itself in mysterious ways... Dan and Vega are destined to be together. The gayest man in the world with the handsomest man in the world is the perfect match up. Dan wrote on his saikyo website about how good his Vega is at sucking dick and swallowing.

Ken: Can you ladies please stop talking about Dan? Call me paranoid but I don't think I'll be able to sleep for at least a year. Make that a century or a millennium.

Cammy: It is okay, Ken, I will always be here to protect you. I love your body and your wallet.

Setsuna: Is Ken afraid that he might have dreams about Dan using his ass stretcher 2000 on him to permanently cripple him in a wheel chair.

Ken: That is not funny goddamnit!

[Setsuna takes a sip of tea from her cup before putting the empty tea cup down on the table. She neatly folds her hands on her lap and continues talking to Cammy. She would leave soon to give Ken and Cammy the privacy they need.]

Setsuna: I wonder when Dan will have another weak moment with Vega? It's so romantic seeing their yaoi loving.

Cammy: Dan is too strong to ever have a weak moment.

Setsuna: You're right. Dan is famous for being a homicidal gay rapist. The man prides himself on how wide he can stretch another man's ass!

[Setsuna sighed. Thinking of something else to say.]

Setsuna: I better go home now and see what is on TV. I will see you tomorrow at your place with Sakura for tea time and we can all talk about how hot Ryu's big manhood is.

[Setsuna teleports back home to her castle and leaves Cammy and Ken alone in peace.]

Ken: Finally I thought that bitch would never leave. Now I can finally take my pants off.

Cammy: Show me the money first, Ken....